The Evolution of a Working Parent - identifying personal values, priorities and boundaries still paying off 5 years later
Rebekah Fraser, The Back To Work Coach works face to face and virtually with coachees at all stages of their Parental Leave.
Joanna Beresford, Beresford Law talks to Rebekah Fraser, The Back To Work Coach
RF: Congratulations on the launch of your new law firm in partnership with your husband, Geoff! What can you tell us about Beresford Law?
JB: Thank you! Yes we just officially launched in March 2022. Beresford Law brings together our two areas of expertise. Geoff is a Commercial and Civil Litigator with particular expertise in construction and building defects disputes. I’m an Environmental Lawyer and Resource Management Litigator. I help my clients all aspects of resource management work such as consenting and designations enforcement.
RF: You and I worked together back in 2017 when you were heading back to work after your second baby. What motivated you to seek back to work / transition coaching at that time?
JB: At that time I was on Parental Leave and had recently accepted a new role in a much larger firm than I had been at. I knew that it was the right decision for me and my career at the time but I was also feeling apprehensive about how I was going to manage the new role, along with a 10 month old baby and a toddler.
I remember talking to a friend, who had been a client of yours who recommended you. She was someone who seemed to have her priorities very straight in her head. I thought ‘well it’s got to be worth a try!’ and reached out to you!
RF: How did coaching benefit you back then?
JB: I remember at the time it was quite challenging because I had to look quite deeply into the things that I personally valued, which wasn’t something I’d given much time to since embarking on my career.
At the time I was rather sleep deprived and I was wondering ‘how am I going to find the energy to do it all’. But what I learnt working with you is that the aim is not actually to “do it all”; the aim is to figure out what is really important to you and then to prioritise doing those things.
Working with you also gave me the confidence to communicate my priorities and how I wanted to work. I consider my career to be a long-term project. I want the way that I work to be sustainable because I really enjoy what I do and I want to still be working in this field up until retirement age. Although not my original plan, this better understanding of my priorities meant that I decided that I wanted to stay working four days a week while my children were pre-schoolers (and now that they are both at school I’m enjoying being back full-time). Having clarity of intention at the start doesn’t always mean that you don’t take on too much at times, but it is a much better place to start than blindly saying yes to everything!
RF: What benefits have you continued to experience?
JB: When we started thinking about what we wanted Beresford Law to look like and what we want to achieve, we went through a process with our business advisors to identify what our motivations are, create our business plan, identify our aspirations and define our firm culture statement.
As we were going through that process I realised it was very familiar to me because of the work I’d done with you in my back to work coaching. I had experience in it and could see it’s value and realised that what I learnt working with you were transferable skills to our new business, and actually, to life in general.
RF: Your children are now 5 and 7. What do they think of mum and dad working together?
JB: They’re still young but they know that we work as a team and that because we now run our own business we’ll have more flexibility about where, when and how we work. It was really interesting when my little one asked “so does that mean you’re going to be a boss AND a mummy now?” I really value that we can role model working as equal contributors to our son and daughter.
RF: What message would you share with other mums considering their back to work options?
JB: I think the first thing to realise is that you do have lots of good options. Sometimes it can be quite bewildering to figure out what options are best for you.
For me, it turned out that it wasn’t just about getting me as a new mum back into the office and managing that somewhat daunting process (my original aim for coaching). It became more about keeping my options open as to what I might want to do in my career later, thinking about those options, having the ability to adjust and reassess as things changed with my family dynamic, and to keep making those decisions
Getting back into it (even part-time) can be an opportunity keep abreast of what is happening in the industry, learn new skills, and maintain your professional currency and connections and by doing so create options for yourself in the future.
Rebekah Fraser, is the founder of The Back To Work Coach, a coaching consultancy specialising in supporting working parents. The Back To Work Coach partners with proactive organisations to support their retention, engagement, DEI, and brand attraction goals and to reduce costs associated with turnover, recruitment and training. Rebekah was named 1 of the top 10 LinkedIN voices on gender equity in Aotearoa 2022.
Joanna Beresford is co-founder of Beresford Law, which is a law partnership, founded by Geoffrey and Joanna Beresford, specialising in environmental law and civil litigation. We work with our clients to help them achieve their goals. We aim to understand our clients’ commercial objectives and make them aware of any potential risks, from the start. We help our clients to understand their options, so that they can make the best choices in any given situation.