Top Tips from Working Mums #1: Self-Care and Expectations
The mamas have spoken and what they have to say is crystal clear!
A survey of 178 working mums has determined that self-care and keeping your expectations realistic is the best (and most important) thing you can do for yourself as you prepare to return to paid work.
First and foremost, they say mums returning to work need to “be kind and go easy on yourself”.
They encourage you to:
take it slowly and give yourself time to ease into being back at work
keep your expectations of yourself realistic
prioritise “me time” (yes even over the housework!),
have faith and confidence in yourself
not feel guilty about the choices you make
gather a great support team
establish clear personal boundaries
learn how to say “no” to the things you don’t want to do, and
look on the bright side and find the positive in a situation.
In their own words, here is just some of their wisdom…
“Give yourself a break, you are not a superhero and others need to step up.” - back at work more than 18 months
“There is never a perfect balance. Part-time work. Full-time work. Full-time mummy…. they’re all challenging.” - back at work between 6 and 18 months
“Be gentle on yourself. You will be stretched and won’t be able to get EVERYTHING done. Enjoy your lunch break in peace and appreciate the time away. The time away will give you and your partner a new appreciation of one another.” - back at work more than 18 months
“Do what is best for you to manage, e.g., the closest daycare to work not home.” - back at work more than 18 months
“Don’t rush. Take your time to get settled.” - back at work less than 6 months
“Give yourself permission to allocate ‘me time’ because you will burn out otherwise. It is important to refuel and balance yourself again after a working week. This way it truly means time with family is quality time.” - back at work more than 18 months
“Find small ways to still look after yourself. Sometimes deciding not to do something gives you a renewed surge of energy!” - back at work between 6 and 18 months
“Sleep instead of cleaning the house. A perfect house is over-rated!” - back at work more than 18 months
“Exercise is nicer than house work!” - back at work more than 18 months
“Build up your confidence before returning to work. This might be in the form of professional development, keeping fit, or keeping up on industry news.” - back at work more than 18 months
“Don’t feel guilty about not feeling guilty!” - back at work between 6 and 18 months
“Don’t apologise for not understanding something. It is perfectly appropriate to ask questions.” - back at work more than 18 months
“Make sure you have the right type of people around you supporting you in this change.” - back at work less than 6 months
“Talk to people about how you are feeling. You’ll find other parents at work who know how it feels and you can share with them as you go.” - back at work more than 18 months
The message is clear: Look after yourself well and don’t try to be a superwoman. Get clear on what is right for YOU and let go of any guilt.
If you have questions about how to make the back to work transition work for you and would like to have an obligation-free chat, contact Rebekah on rebekah@thebacktoworkcoach.com or connect via LinkedIn.
