Intentions are the new black ... and now is the perfect time to set yours!
Hands up who’s already broken their New Years resolution? Eight weeks in and yep, me too ... or rather I would have if I’d made one. Let me explain…
Most years the conversation goes something like this …
”Hey guys! The new year is almost upon us. What are you going to do differently next year? What are your goals and resolutions?”
And from there you can normally count on more than a few of those assembled stating that they are going to dry out, lose weight, get fit, spend less time working, more time with the kids, and sometimes even learn a musical instrument or a foreign language.
Once New Year’s has been celebrated, I typically give myself until holiday’s end (my goals have typically been around eating less, drinking less, swearing less, procrastinating less… generally well … “less”, you get the picture!) and then I’d launch into making good on my resolution.
And what typically happened? A few days, maybe a week of saint-like, resolution-worthy behaviour and then BANG! I’d get goal-shy, I’d get scared of failure (and sometimes of success!), I’d find other legitimate things to do, I’d do the easy thing instead of the “right” thing and I’d end up hanging my head in shame … I’d have blown my resolution … already … again!
The net result was that I’d feel bad. I’d feel unmotivated. I’d determine that since I’d blown it already my goal was (obviously!) impossible, and then conclude that I’d just have to learn to accept things as they were and be happy.
So this year? This year I decided to set an intention as opposed to a bound-to-fail resolution. Why? Because this year I want to think and feel differently about my efforts to be my best.
I want to feel hopeful and proud. Not ashamed and despondent.
I want to feel drawn forward towards a better version of myself. Not feel that there is something ‘wrong’ with me that I’m trying to ‘fix’.
To make a resolution is to make a firm decision to do or not do something. It’s all or nothing. Pass or fail. And because of this it feels natural to want to give up when you fall off the wagon. And fall off the wagon you invariably will. Life throws us curve balls all the time (I mean who was anticipating a global pandemic?!) that make sticking to our resolutions incredibly difficult.
Instead I recommend you think about creating an intention. An intention is defined as a thing intended, an aim or a plan. It is flexible, adaptable, purposeful, and hopeful. It is something to keep front of mind as you navigate the choices that life presents you on a day to day basis.
Let me give you an example.
I run my own business and I am committed to serving more clients. I’m also a pretty structured thinker. I like to succeed and I like to have clarity. In honour of this preference, I would typically resolve that I want to be better at business development, and in order to be better I need to take X steps, Y times a week. I would then feel stoked with myself for a few days … then find the criteria I’ve set for myself scary and anxiety-provoking, start making excuses to myself about why I’ll get started the week after next, beat myself up for procrastinating and ‘failing’, and then after a suitable amount of self-flagellation …. decide to flag that goal altogether.
This year I did it differently. This year I decided to create an intention to focus my time and efforts in 4 key areas that will support my commitment to serving more clients.
This year I set an intention to:
Publish original content (and in so doing engage in a pleasurable past-time, share what I know, and raise my profile),
Partner with like-minded professionals (and in so doing meet my need for collaboration and collegiality),
Be proactive about connecting with those who would most benefit from my services (and in so doing walk my talk and address my life-long personal development focus of believing in myself), and
Offer a portion of my time and energy to pro-bono causes (and in so doing meet my need to pay it forward and give back to the community)
So how is it going? It’s been going SO WELL that yesterday I found myself questioning whether or not I was actually working hard enough! To check in on this, I did a brain dump of all the things I’ve done / am doing in line with these intentions so far this year - and in a word - I was delighted! I’ve felt motivated, I’ve wanted to take action, I’ve created momentum, I’ve even been enjoying myself! And … I’m getting results!
How much more inspiring it is to hold these intentions and work towards them instead of beating myself up for not taking action on a series of tasks.
How much more manageable and sustainable it is to ask myself “what makes sense to do now?” Rather than try and adhere to the “rule book” (albeit one that I’ve written for myself) where there is a right and a wrong way of doing things with the ever present threat of ‘failure’.
How much more positive it is to be pulling myself forward to be the best version of myself rather than trying to fix a perceived issue or problem.
Intentions are the new black and now is the best time to make yours!!
Questions to ask yourself when setting intentions:
What does the best version of me look like? What do I want for myself?
Why is that important to me?
What difference would that make to my life? How will I benefit from this intention?
How can I best describe my intention? How can I best express it to myself and others?
How can I keep this intention front of mind?
What types of activities will I undertake to realise my intention?
How do I need to talk to myself to be in the right headspace to realise my intention?
What words of encouragement can I practice to keep focused on my intention?
If you’d like to contact Rebekah regarding setting your own intention, please email her on rebekah@thebacktoworkcoach.com